I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
