Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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