I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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