Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
