even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
