mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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