nut hugger
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
