i dont even know how to be here
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
