wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
