THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Help. Why am I so naked?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
