shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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