why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
