His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
