so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
