she woke up with a sticky ear
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
