He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
