There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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