The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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