i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
