If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
