my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
