She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
