This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
