Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
