i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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