Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
pop tarts are not kleenex
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
