I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
