She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize