Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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