Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
