Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.