Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.