just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
