She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
