I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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