So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
