I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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