Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
