drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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