I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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