He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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