I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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