My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.