No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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