You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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