Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
