Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
