They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
