She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
