So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
