I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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