Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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