i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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