what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
