I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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