also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
