hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
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I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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