I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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